Imagine for a moment that no one demanded your time this Saturday. You have no appointments, no errands. You don’t have a friend that’s moving and in need of your assistance. No grandchild looking forward to your presence at a big game. The day is yours. What would you do with yourself?
As a family caregiver—I can guess what you are thinking: “Ahhh, wouldn’t that be nice?!” But what if no one ever needed you for anything, ever again? How would you feel? Pretty useless, I would guess.
At Kemper House, we have a fundamental belief that each person is unique, has something to contribute and is to be valued, regardless of their mental or physical state. Each person is needed, and has needs to be met. The person living with a cognitive impairment like Alzheimer’s disease doesn’t necessarily possess the faculties any longer to socially engage or assert needs.
This belief manifested into a set of ten Guiding Principles for Kemper House. The Guiding Principles direct everyone in the company in all circumstances. These principles are reflected in day-to-day operations, decision-making, and planning for the future. In the coming weeks, I want to tell you about these principles.
The first of ten principles is Preservation of Dignity. Dignity is defined as the quality or state of being worthy, honored or esteemed. At Kemper House is means something more:
Every resident has a unique background, personality, and needs. Fulfilling basic needs of love, comfort, inclusion, occupation and identity are essential to self-worth and dignity. Residents are worthy of respect.
Simply put, while Alzheimer’s progressively lessens their abilities, each person still feels emotion, and is still capable of giving and receiving love. Each person still has value. We adapt to our residents’ needs – we don’t ask them to adapt to our needs.
Following are just a few examples of how the Kemper team works daily to preserve residents’ dignity and self-worth.
Recently, a new resident insisted on paying for his meals every day after dining. It was important to him to pay his own way. Eager to
address the man’s concern, the hospitality aide got creative. She asked the office manager to write up a little receipt marked ‘paid’ for the resident.
The next day, when the resident asked to pay his bill, the hospitality aide presented the receipt and told the resident he already paid.
This satisfied the resident’s concern! We know this resident doesn’t have to pay for meals – it’s included! But the resident either doesn’t know, or can’t remember that the hospitality aide told him the day before he doesn’t have to pay. This is just one example of how our staff 1) recognizes an issue important to a resident, and 2) resolves the issue in a dignified way.
When I was growing up, Cheers was a favorite show of my parents… you know, the place where everybody knows your name.
Doesn’t it feel good to be known? At Kemper House we make it our business to know your loved one’s story – what are their hobbies, what did they do for a living? Perhaps your mom or dad grew up on a farm, and prefers to rise with the chickens to this day. Really knowing your loved one fulfills their basic need for identity.
Your dad worked hard his whole life – it’s time for him to kick back and relax, right? Wrong! How bored, and useless, would you feel if you ‘relaxed’ all the time? If you ever noticed a resident or two setting the tables in the dining room, or dropped in for a visit to find your wife helping the office manager put together a mailing, this is the reason behind it. Occupation, or the desire to be useful and engaged, is important to everyone’s well-being—our residents are no different.
When you’re in the thick of caring for a loved one with Alzheimer’s or dementia—it’s stressful. Even if you decided to bring your loved one to a care center like Kemper House, you may not have time to read up on this disease or how to effectively interact with your loved one, let alone “find time for yourself.”
It’s my goal to impart some of the wisdom we’ve gained after caring for people with dementia for so many years. I believe that knowledge is power. And, I want to arm you with the information and tools you need to cope with this devastating disease.
Remember, we need to adapt to their needs. Walk a mile in their shoes… how would you like to be treated?
If there is any great secret of success in life, it lies in the ability to put yourself in the other person’s place and to see things from his point of view–as well as your own. -Henry Ford
